By hungry Emmet

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, until at least 11:22 a.m.
I always thought the best breakfast on the planet was the buffet at the Samoset Resort. Yes, it was close to $20 but it had a bewildering array of omelets, pastry, meats and fruit even before you approached the dessert tray.
Although I am a card-carrying fat boy, I cannot eat that much at one sitting. Blue Eyes with her perfect ballerina body, can eat twice as much as I can, especially at a buffet. She would finish two plates of breakfast (no meat, natch), then go back for some dessert. I would just sit there, burping.
The Samoset once blew away the competition, which was Charlie’s sandwich shop in Boston’s south end (A Boston magazine fave) and the Holiday Inn Riverwalk in Ft. Myers Florida (razed for nonexistent condos) where they made custom omelets while you waited.
But The “Sam” lost its title several years ago when we visited Quebec City and the Chateau Frontenac, celebrating 25 years of not being married. (I asked, Blue Eyes laughed). If the Samoset had 25 items, the Frontenac had 50. The hardest part was rationing the available space on a single plate.
Fat Boy was in heaven. I could hardly waddle around beautiful Quebec City that morning. Luckily, I recovered in time for a late lunch in a sidewalk café.
Now comes the news from Las Vegas. They just spent $17 million to reorganize the Bacchanal Buffet at Caesar’s palace with a 500-item dinner menu and 100-item breakfast for $19.
Say what?
I have not been to Vegas since 1968 when I was driving a repossessed Cadillac sedan across country to become an apprentice hippy in San Francisco. I stopped for refueling in Vegas, innocently sat in a lounge and looked up to see the most beautiful women in the world walking across the stage, ten feet away, topless.
So much for innocence.
Now I might have to make a return Vegas visit. Forget gambling.
I will go to see my new Very Best Friend, Chef Scott Green. I call him Scotty since he organized this buffet feast. He said, “The idea, simply, is to combine nine restaurants into one. All of the chefs have a lot of restaurant background, so we bring a true restaurant feel to the buffet. You might say it’s a large offering of restaurant-quality food.”
The buffet will have: 10 different chair designs using 17 different fabrics, as well as 3,607 glass jars filled with food products and 16,027 bowls, plates and glasses adorning the walls. Someone counted them.
And I thought Ruby Tuesday was the end of the line.
Bacchanal Buffet was designed by a Japanese-based firm, Super Potato. Sounds like it should have been an Irish firm. Super Potato has designed a number of venues in Las Vegas.
“Bacchanalia” as you surely know, were originally wild parties devoted to the Greco-Roman god Bacchus, the god of wine. I don’t know about you, but I am not up for wild parties during breakfast. Just the 100-item buffet, the New York Times crossword puzzle and a gallon of Sumatra coffee, please.
If you have room after three helpings of home fries, the Bacchanal has an award winning (natch) patisseur (pastry cook to you yahoos) doing 115 pastry items. The menu offers baked-to-order soufflés, oceans of crème brulee and a carnival- sized gelato section.
I may never get to the slots.
For your information, The Bacchanal Buffet will be open daily, 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., and the prices of this feast might surprise you. Breakfast is just $19.99, lunch is $24.99 and dinner is $39.99.
Vegas, baby. (burp.)