By poor emmet

Don’t get me wrong. I have never met Stephen and Terri Weaver of Stuttgart, Arkansas. But I do hate them.
You have probably forgotten about the Weavers and their lottery winnings. I haven’t.
First Stephen (hate him) won $1 million in the Arkansas lottery in early February. The next day, before they even cashed the winning ticket, Terri (hate her) bought a few more in the same store. She won a mere $50,000.
I have won $1,000 in the Maine lottery and another $70 (big deal) in Florida. But I have been buying tickets for 30 years. If I averaged $3 a week that would be an easy $150 a year or about $4,600 I have dribbled away. According to my Roslindale High School math, I am down $3,530. That is a conservative estimate. The only way out is to win the lottery and win big. That accounts for all of my financial planning.
I may travel to Greer’s Lake in Arkansas (I have GPS) to buy my next round of tickets at T-Ricks Convenience Store, instead of spending more money at Fowlie’s Overpriced Emporium in Camden. Hey, it worked for the Weavers.
In February, our Boy Stephen,54, bought five, Million Riches scratch-off tickets, at $20 a pop on the way to his weekend cabin retreat. That’s $100. I don’t know if I have ever spent that much.
“We pick up a couple tickets on the weekend when we go to our cabin on the river,” said Terri, 55, an office manager with a water company. “It’s a weekly thing. We just pick up a few here and a few there.”
Once they brought the tickets to the cabin, they realized one of Stephen’s $20 tickets won the $1 million jackpot.
“I almost had a heart attack,” said Stephen, who owns a plumbing company. “I had to have an aspirin.” Stephen wanted to go home right away and cash in his ticket. But wiser heads prevailed and they spent the weekend in the cabin, with the winning ticket locked in his truck.
I would guess that they spent the night planning on spending their new fortune. Wouldn’t you? I always thought the best thing about buying a lottery ticket (so far) is going to bed, putting your head on the pillow and drifting off, planning how to spend all that money.
You can tell how pathetic my life is.
On Sunday as they planned to return home, they stopped at T-Rick’s to buy more tickets. Hey, a million isn’t enough? They did it “just for the heck of it, because it was fun,” Terri explained.
I don’t think I like her.
Terri bought a $10 Taxes Paid instant ticket and won $50,000.
“When she handed it to me, I fell back in my chair and almost went into cardiac arrest again,” Stephen said of the second ticket. “We jumped around, hollered, and screamed. It’s just not possible that it happened twice. The odds must be astronomical.”
Now, they are really getting on my nerves. They took home $714,000 after taxes but, you guessed it, they will keep working. “We are going to put it in a little, or big, nest egg,” Stephen said. In case there was any doubt how much I hate these two, they had won $2,500 a few months earlier and another $1,000 a few years ago.
They said they will continue to buy more lottery tickets. Wouldn’t you? They confessed that they bought a few more tickets on the trip to cash in their tickets.
Maybe I will just send the Weavers some money and have them buy me some lottery tickets at T-Rick’s. It would beat throwing more money away at Fowlie’s Overpriced Emporium.
If they win me a few mill, I will like the Weavers a whole lot.