By tubby Emmet
Blue Eyes is the most careful eater I know. She expects to live to be 90, has the family history and acts accordingly.
I eat whatever is close to me and has no peppers. I expect to live another year, maybe two. It is the same expectation I have had since I turned 21, even though my mother passed 90 with flying colors. If there is a chilled bottle of Clos du Bois in the fridge, I will open it.
Now, she (and the Food and Drug Administration) tell me that I should be paying attention to trans fats, whatever they are. The FDA is considering a ban on trans fats, so they must be good.
Let’s check WebMD for some info. “Food makers once used artificial trans fats to enhance the flavor, texture, and shelf life of processed foods. You might have seen those trans fats listed as “partially hydrogenated oils. The trans fats ban isn’t final yet. But foods that have trans fats in them must admit it on their labels.
While you are getting lost in the aisles at Hannaford, you should be checking those labels. (I have never read one, nor looked at the price) “Check the Nutrition Facts label and the ingredient list. If the Nutrition Facts label says the product has “0 g trans fat,” that doesn’t necessarily mean it has no trans fats. It could have up to half a gram of trans fats per serving. So check the ingredient label to see if “partially hydrogenated oils” is on the list. Those are trans fats,” WebMD tells us.
Naturally, they gave us a list of things to avoid.
I won’t miss toppings and dips because I only have dips once a year, during the annual Hammerfest on the Cobb Manor deck. Flavored coffee (yuck), whipped toppings and gravy mixes will not be missed. Nut-based cookies and candy? Not a big item at The Cobb. Granola and energy bars? No problem. Chips and crackers are an occasional favorite, but not at the problem level. Have never cared about soups, but I always thought they were supposed to be good for you. No chance. (Naturally Blue Eyes makes her own soup.)
I have always hated margarine, since the days it came in a plastic package and you had to squeeze it to spread the red dye inside the package. There were many years that margarine was touted as health food instead of good old butter. No longer. I was ahead of the curve on that one.
Now the “experts” are getting serious. The web site list frozen food pot pies even breaded fish sticks and…French fries.
Blue Eyes has a funny attitude about fries. She never orders them, especially at Francine’s where (rumor has it) they are cooked in duck fat. They are also the best fries (pomme frites) I have ever eaten. But once I order them, she always seems to eat more than I do. A frugal sort, she figures that once ordered, food must be consumed.
I hope and pray that the powers that be will someday decide that fries (pomme frites) are actually health food, which feeds the “good cholesterol” and promotes a healthy mind as well as body. Donuts, too. The web site hates donuts since they have shortening in the dough, and then cooked in trans fats. (That’s why they taste so good).
You can take my flavored coffee (yuck) my dips and gravy, cookies and candy and granola bars.
But the FDA will have to pry my donuts and fries from my cold dead (and fat) hands.
How long do you want to live, anyway?