By riding emmet
I swear every word of this is true. The names have been changed to protect the hilarious.
This all happened last week, in the delirious, fading last days of summer. Our hero, let’s call him Jefferson Phil, had just returned from a manly-man trip to the Allagash where he provided grilled salmon for his trip mates. No franks and beans for Our Boy. JP is very strong in the camp-cooking area, if a little weak on hygiene.
Surprisingly, no one died on this venture or even totaled a canoe. In the afterglow of the trip, celebrating the return of hot water and flush toilets in Jefferson, JP enjoyed his old and new friends for the debriefing. One of these new innocents had come in a Harley Davidson…with a sidecar. The New Guy naturally offered JP a quick ride. Although a trifle hesitant, JP eventually jumped in and the pair explored some of Jefferson’s back roads.
What you have to understand is that Jefferson Phil somehow landed Jefferson Gwen, A southern belle head-turner if there ever was one. JG has legs that Betty Grable (you remember her) could have used. The Jefferson couple just celebrated 35 years (honest to God) of marriage. Well, JG is a nursing school grad, a retired school nurse, who occasionally takes nursing jobs for the elderly. If she can take care of JP, she can take care of anyone.
All of this is germane to our story, trust me.
Let’s cut back to JP in the sidecar on that dusty back road. Although he has no seen her for the week on the Allagash, he remembers that JG is caring for an elderly woman…on that very dusty road. I don’t have to tell you that JP has a twisted and devious mind, do I? Over the roar of the Harley, JP tells New Guy that he wants to stop at that house over there. “It’s really old and I want to check it out,” he yells.
New Guy pulls the Harley into the driveway and JP gets out of the sidecar, walks up to the door and rings the bell. Guess who answered? After a week in the woods with sweaty men, JP had to admit that JG never looked better. Her hair was perfect. Her dress was better. Back on the bike, New Guy couldn’t hear what the woman said over the Harley engine but he could see that she gave JP a sensational, toe-curling, 15-second kiss.
JP and JG made plans (I can imagine) for later that day and JP returned to his waiting Harley and the very jealous New Guy.
“Boy, the women on this road are really friendly,” JP tells his driver, without another word.
Now, I will leave it up to you whether JP ever told New Guy who that Kissing Woman was. If he did, it was much, much later in the day after New Guy told the others about the very friendly women on Jefferson’s back roads. He might have thought about knocking on a few doors himself.
This is nothing new for JP. He once showed up for a St Croix River trip with another knockout who happened to be his niece. I don’t know if he ever told the others of her true identity. If he ever did, I bet it took a while.
I like to think that he never told New Guy the truth about Jefferson women and the kissing tale is now making the circuit back in Louisiana, or wherever New Guy lives.
I hope that New Guy never reads this tale.